Hell&related Stuff

Gentle readers, let me tell you that this was not the initial title for todays blog but I am a victim of circumstance. I'll explain.

I was out and about in Southampton yesterday to take a specific photograph. I'm a member of a group in Flickr who have a little competition going where one takes a photograph of a specific place or landmark in Southampton and other members have to work out where it is. Photographs of your own bathroom etc are not permitted.

Anyroad up, I had accomplished my aim when I came across the sign which you can see below:

I'm assuming that this is advertising an english breakfast that is available all day. This being the case, my blog title was:

ACHY BREAKY HEART, WHAT COST?

That being the title of that line dancing song from a few years back.

I continued my perambulations and passed the local shop before turning into 'Dennypoos Acres',passing the gatehouse and crossing the croquet lawn before entering via the french windows.

My mind was in a turmoil, not because I had foolishly given the staff the rest of the day off, being P.O.E.T.S. day (piss off early tomorrows saturday) but there was something within that was not right.

Trumpets sounded, lightbulbs illuminated the top of my head etc.

Another bloody wrong bilboard. Retraceing my steps I took myself back to the newspaper shop pausing only to admire the herbacious border. At the shop I was vindicated. I stood before the object of my mental turmoil.

.

Another blinding example of our edukachun system. I can only ascribe this to Southampton residents being particularly stupid but I fear it may be widespread.

I shall away now as I must help organise the 'Freemantle Full contact Conker Competition'

Object trouve type Orchid which I found in a bin has not only recovered but is putting out a flower-spike.

Just to let all and sundry know: I'm at a stage in the book where Bluebottles are buzzing aginst the windowpane.

As I said..........

.

Urban re-generation has'nt hit this area of Southampton yet.

Other stuff at:

www.flickr.com/photos/dennypoos/

....perhaps not.

I refer to an article I listened to on the radio this morning.

The gist was that an opera company in Germany had cancelled a production of a Mozart opera as it contained a scene where the severed head of Mohammed is displayed to the cultured and suitably be-pearled audience.

Nice to see that this lunacy for 'correctness' and wishy-washy morality isn't confined to these shores.

I do wonder if we'll get to hear the '1812' at the Proms ever again, after all we wouldn't want to upset the damned froggies would we.

Perhaps I should cease to use the word 'froggie' to denote persons of Gallic charm and self effacement.

I shall similarly not refer to 'Krauts' but henceforth to, persons of a germanic origin exhibiting wit and humour.

Call a spade a spade I say, unless it is Leroy, whom I had best describe as a person of afro-carribean ethnicity and a 'diamond geezer'.

Paddys will not be 'itinerant bog trotters' and 'navvies' but persons who are caretakers of the Gaelic inheritance.

The list is endless, please furnish it at your will.

Well not actually changing, just moving about a bit.

We are all aware that climate change (economic) has meant that even as I write this educational missive, Christmas is nigh. Some may doubt the validity of this claim but hark ye, how can this not be so when Supermarkets are displaying 'Christmas puds' and such like. The veracity of the "christmas is nigh" statement is confirmed by my noticing that many a local 'eaterie' is advising patrons to book early for Christmas lunches. Surely not desperation at this time already?

Seasonal changes can be noticed down here in the New forest where the 'Adjisters' have asked the 'Commoners' to put the pigs out for 'pannage' two weeks early, thus getting rid of a glut of acorns which (as we all know) are poisonous to photogenic New forest Ponies.

Come December, Geordie lads and lasses, should that be lassies, will progress into long sleeved T-shirts. A sure sign that Santa cannot be too far off.

I put it to you, as seasoned viewers and knowers of 'what is what', that the museum has it wrong when they say that Edvard Munchs "the scream" has been damaged.

DAMAGED my arse, it has been enhanced.

My having had it made into a tie (see a previous blog) merely gives it purpose.

I dunno quite what I expected but with all the usual suspects in the cast, something better, perhaps?

Hired the video from the library and due to illness was late taking it back. This may account for the dodgy opinion but on reflection probably not.

It is without doubt a film that is so far up itself that the descriptions of it as "hillarious,genuinly funny and smart" leave me wondering if my disc has been mispackaged.

To be brutally frank, it is no more than a masturbatory exercise, and I should know one when I see one.

I did copy the disc as a friend could'nt believe my description (I sneer at copyright protection programs), and he will give his view later.

Other things that have occured are that I am mightily chuffed that Madamme Blair has with just four words, banjaxed, the carefully orchestrated Labour handover.

I'm thinking that Tony could have given her four words of his own.

"You fucking gobby bitch" or similar spring immediatly to mind.

No other things of importance to impart so I'll be off and be reading your last weeks blogs.

.....I leave you with something for the weekend.

Dylans song 'Girl from the North Country' as sung by Joe Cocker on his 'Mad Dogs and Englishmen' tour.

How nice to see Ian Dury get a TV prog all to himself, albeit as part of the Stiff series of programmes.

He's one of the very few people I've seen live whom I went to see again. Poole Arts Centre 1977 and Bournemouth Winter Gardens 1978. Halcyon days.

If there was ever a phrase to adequately describe him, it would have to be:

DIAMOND GEEZER.

The biggest feather in the world?

Unless of course you know different.

The postman arrived before I came out today and so I am pleased to see that I have been carefully selected to apply for a 'Vanquis Visa Card'. Not earth-shattering, I grant you and as such was about to consign it to the bin when I chanced to see the APR.

FUCK ME!, gotta be wrong.

Nope, I was being offered the chance to have up to £2000 credit with an APR of........49.9% variable.

I was hooked and instead of binning it, read on.

They did a 'Cost of Borrowing' example which was very persuasive in telling me that If I borrowed £1000 and paid back at the minimum rate. It would take me 14yrs,6 months to clear the debt.

The only thing they didn't say was how much in total I would have repaid. It'l be a phenomenal amount though.

Wow! what a bargain.

Jus an arty farty pic, done without photoshop.

Environmentalist my arse!:

Nothing mor than a self-publicising croc-prodder and animal baiter, done for the cameras and supposed betterment of us all.

It seems an inordinatly large number of dead Stingrays have been washed up in Queensland. Freak of nature you may well say and how right you'ld be. Seems that the Irwin fraternity have been seeking revenge by killing and cutting off the tails of 'killer' Stingrays. I listened to this on The world service at about five this morning and they had on an Aussie Sheila who said that the killing of animals that had killed humans was nothing new, citing the hunt for rogue elephants, man eating tigers and even dogs that had savaged people and were then put down.

Nice one mate, thats some legacy.

If your up in heaven, looking down, put down that tinny and pin back your lug holes, I have something to say.

TOSSER

So I'm reading a book as has been recomended by a fellow blogger. I'm proceeding with all due care and attention at a speed that the author would expect.

All is well with the world (well mine anyway if not the main character) and then bugger me, out of nowhere, well page 371 in actual fact, comes Categorical Imperative.

I'll have to admit to being flumoxed, never 'eard of it. Not one to gloss over such things, who knows, the entire gist of the book may hinge on that one expression, I headed for the reference section in the 'Libraria Dennypoi' here at Dennypoos Acres.

Well, bugger me backwards with a broomstick, if this wasn't a can of something or other. Before long I had cross references to Deontological ethics, Unilateralism, Syllogistic thought processes, Non cognitivism, Prescriptivism and Consequentialism, in fact more 'isms than you could shake a stick at which was funny as one of the references was to Roosevelt's 'Big Stick'policy which dealt with moral imperatives.

Needless to say that after all my reasearch I am still bollocksed as to what it all means.My thought processes have been rotating in an ever decreasing way till they ..... well we all know what.

KarenF, for it was she.......grrrrr.

Reading on however, I forsee dark clouds on the horizon for our hero(?)

..has just lost a large posting.

Had there been oportunity presented itself, I would avail myself of a 'soapy tit wank' to calm my nerves and soothe.. all that needed soothing.

see next blog for todays real post.

Whilst out and about the metropolis that is greater Southampton, I chanced upon the following...

I was thinking a suitable caption might be.."are you sure it'll cut down drag"?

Whadda you think?

... be avoiding anything to do with '9/11.

I'm aware that as a heartless bastard, my thoughts should be with those who perished and to some extent they are until I remind myself of other large groups of people who have perished in abhorent situations.

Iraqui Kurds, tens of thousands.

Nameless and numberless kids in Africa, starved to death by 'warlords'of one kind or another.

Chilean dissidents, many thousands.

You get the idea I'm sure.

Instead I shall give to the world an image as meaningful as many of todays television.

A pretty choccy box type piccy.

Sweet isn't it?

....The Time Team's royal dig, which I recorded some time ago.

Now avid readers will know that in no way am I a ranty moantastic kind of guy and instead prefer to look to the good and perhaps the great in peoples activities.......HOWEVER.... I spotted a real howler whilst watching the prog.

If you had've watched it you would know that various areas of royal palaces were being investigated. Buck House, Windsor Castle and in Scotland, Hollyrood Palace.

As is the way on these live events a scrolling update was to be seen at the bottom of the screen.
I was mortified to read, when handing over from one site to another, the following, " and that's all fromm Hollyrood for the moment, and now to are team on the lawn of Buckingham Palace".

'ARE' team, fuck me has this secretary/continuity person got the job on the strength of 'A' level results in Home Economics, P.E. and Walking in a Straight line?

I would like to add my voice to those of educationalists who assert that there is NO dumbing down of educational standards. No sir, not here, nope.

On a totally different tack, it is Star Trek's fortieth birthday today.
Forty years of boldly splitting infinitives and the like.

...well you have the subject ie. the dummy. You have the reflection and you have the two elements combined.

Good eh?

......is this an early Al Quaida attempt at mass destruction?

....or merely a womans best parking effort?

So it's farewell Steve Irwin, crocodile hunter, and Hah bloody Hah.

Not, I grant you, a particularly christian attitude but mine own. Indeed fundamental christians may be inclined to do a bit of Bible quoting along the lines of "as ye sow, so shall ye reap".

Stung by a Stingray through the chest whilst filming off the Queensland coast. The reports say that he was attacked by this fish but I can't help but think that if his mum had've told him off for poking snakes with a pointy stick when he was a kid, then this wouldn't have happened.

What pisses me off, though god knows why, is the complete irresponsibility of it all, as he leaves behind a wife and two small children.

The schoolboy didn't grow up to be an adult, and all that that infers.

I leave this blog muttering under my breath....."what a stupid cunt"

Great news that the Norwegian police think that they've recovered the missing Edvard Munch pictures, missing for two years, having been stolen.

I must come clean, the pictures recovered are not the originals; in fact I have or had, the pictures stolen.

"Madonna" I had covered with acrylic and made into an umbrella stand; this I later gave to Oxfam.
The more famous of the two, "The Scream", I delaminated from the canvas and had made into a tie. (seen below).

You'll never catch me alive coppers!