Hell&related Stuff

Not my arse, nor original, but there you go.

Just a little pre-view of my Cemetery photographs, which I am uploading onto my flicker site.

When I've done the lot and got rid of most of the chaff I'll give all my wonderful co-bloggers a chance to marvel, yes marvel, at my work.
In the meantime:

I'd thought of something like this for my own memorial but with hindsight, its far too permanent.

Other pictures can be seen at:

www.flickr.com/photos/dennypoos/

Well, it had to be done. Sainsburys were having a blitz on their cream and I managed to get three tubs for 30p. Smooth talking bastards will out.

As I had the cream, I had to bake something that would accompany it and so rustled up a couple of tins of 'Chocolate chip muffins'.
As I lay, replete and a little guilty, moving 'man boobs' and distended stomach out of the way in order to watch Tele, I resolved to take a modicum of excercise on the sabbeth.

I ventured out, no, sallied forth on Sunday to the local cemetery, much of which is overgrown and therfore a good place for photographs.

I learnt that my camera battery was good for only 238 pictures on a full charge, yes, thats how many pictures I took in a veritable snapping frenzy.

Just before the battery conked I found these, funghi, of some type or another. Anyone know? They were about the size of a saucer and were underneath a conifer of some kind (a bit 'Leylandi-ish').

The rest of the tombstone type pictures are still in the mix, so to speak, though I have edited the 238 down to 87.
When I've sorted them I'll post them on flickr and give you guys a link as some of them are pretty worthwhile.

Just don't say I'm not good to you, thats all.

The track is Cooksferry Queen by Richard Thompson.

Not what one may assume to be good bedfellows, but I am here to say Pah! not so.

Last night I spent a little time in front of the box for my humour fix. Watching QI I learnt:

In actual fact, alcohol does not kill your brain calls and that there is no evidence whatsoever to support this claim, it being one of those urban myths.
I am greatly relieved to hear this as I gave up going on the lash a few years ago. Had I not done so, I would have been insensible by the time the programme came on and would therefore ascribe my erratic behaviour to booze. Now I find I cannot do this and must declare myself 'bonkers' instead. If only I had pot loads of money I could be 'eccentric', still, we all need aims and ambitions.

The other thing I learnt, this from the Jimmy Carr prog, 'dead cats' or some such is:

HEROIN is actually a trade name belonging to 'Bayer' the pharmaceutical company as is ASPRIN.
Heroin, in its early days, was marketed as a bit of a cure-all, a universal panacea if you like, which had all of the effects of morphia but none of the drawbacks, such as addiction.

How times change, or perhaps not.

Dennypoos, always a learning experience.

.... for those with dodgy monitors or eyesight or an inability to see the bigger picture, here's what you were missing, well maybe not missing, but not seeing anyway.

there, said I'd do it, and I have. Good old reliable Dennypoos.

Readers of old will recall that I had a minor concern over a lump that I discovered lurking about my person. The aforementioned readers may recall that the prognosis was threefold, insomuch as, it would either:

Get bigger.

Get smaller

I am pleased to announce that it has reduced in size so much as to be of no further concern. This does not mean that I will stop fondling, err, examining myself, in an intimate way. Lets be fair, I've been doing that since well before puberty, so the chances of me stopping now, are zero.

I would give that news a 'Whoo-Hoo' but the reality is, it's no big thing. now who else said that to me recently.........

.... for those with dodgy monitors or eyesight or an inability to see the bigger picture, here's what you were missing, well maybe not missing, but not seeing anyway.

there, said I'd do it, and I have. Good old reliable Dennypoos.

... that now my TV tuner (which I use with my laptop) is in 'dry dock',They decide to put loads of interesting stuff on the tele at the same time and I can't watch one and record another, boo-hoo.

This means I have to choose between the new Catherine Tate series and the Make a home in the country programme which I have found fascinating,(both 9pm).

Ho-hum, Catherine Tate will out,"what a fucking liberty" et all.

Well I must be I spent time doing this when I have important graphology stuff to be getting on with.

See what I mean.

Well, bugger me backwards with a broomhandle, I can read what it says on my monitor.

It reads,"we already have a TV license so FUCK OFF"

I'll do a closer view when I get round to editing some images.

.... this house isn't home to a student or two.

.

I don't think you can.

Ha !! and Ha! again.

Same old, same old.

As readers will know, my TV tuner (US is up the swanny and I've sent it off for repair. It would appear that 'Terratec' who make the thing do not have any repair facilities in this country and so it was off to Germany with the little blighter.

All this is after spending a fair bit of time trying to phone their 'Emergency HOT line', which I needed to do as the first step in reporting the fault. I never actually got to speak with anyone as after much, "your call is important to us, please hold the line, one of our technicians will be available shortly" type crap.

So I emailed the head honcho and off to Krautland it goes. Or indeed it has gone.

Eight pounds nineteeen pence, insured of course but eight pounds and nineteen fucking pence, I ask you!

The ultimate pisser is that I did'nt keep the bubble lined, very large envelope that it came in. (not like me). So I had to buy another one at the cost of £1.19. Not too bad I suppose but money I didn't need to spend.

I must be off and toddling now as a young lady has just given me her hand and thereis much to do. As Holmes would have it ".. the games afoot."

..something.

I fed the cake.

Two capfuls of Sainsburys best cooking brandy.

Whoo-hoo, I'm one hell of a guy.

Denny.

Fuck all really but I can stretch it for the sake of this post.

Watched lots of TV:
Mitchel and Webb I really am warming to these two.
Bremner, Bird & Fortune. Just sublime.
Torchood, What a load of old bollocks. Promised much, delivered zilch.

Interviewed in the street:
Yep, stopped and asked my opinions on whether religeous schools were divisive, in the light of the recent veiled storm in a tea-cup.

Good weekend for football, as both 'Saints' and Scunny won.

Packed up my USB TV tuner as its knackered and has to be sent orf for repair. Germany would you believe it? Still under warranty though.

Took out from the library, three albums, to copy of course.
Taj Mahal.
Clarence Gatemouth Brown.
and a very old one from The Butterfield Blues Band.

I'm sure there was something else, but rather like a shopping list, I've forgotten.

Bye for now chummies.

Denny.

...safaricandle has just posted an interesting site:

www.spookyart.com

enjoy, or not, the choice is yours.

..........all week.

As heard on, '100 cats thought' or some such thing.

Discussion about this, being paid to play scrabble in prison, thing.

"....of course when I played scrabble in prison, I almost got bummed.....but I didn't have two 'M's.

Well sod you then, it works for me.

A little ditty by Richard THompson:

Cooksferry Queen from the album, 'Mock Tudor'

Think of it as a sample of greatness.

.... are going into meltdown and so if I seem to be neglecting replying to comments, well, tough, I'm sure you can wait 'till tomarrow.

Bye..Dennypoos

The outcome was:

I know of a Mr. A. Royle of Louth, Linclonshire, who may well be surpressing a chortle but I say this: It was further than I thought: I had done a lot of walking in those shoes: I almost got the picture I wanted.

Yes, you guessed it:

.

I thought spellcheck worked with windows?

Apparently not.

One, and only one of many, reasons why I didn't get to the library to blog was:

Oh bugger I can't find the picture.

As promised, dear readers, here is yet another example of my Masterbakery prowess.

As can be seen I am up and ready to 'feed' the cake with Sainsburys best cooking brandy.

I know I should have posted this yesterday but I was a little held up.

See next post.

...a man of 'Glace cherries' and 'Peel'

If you can't guess why, shame on you.

Results to be seen in Mondays posting.

Todays topic relates to murder and the like.

I overheard two workers on the estate,(Dennypoos Acres) discussing a Rabbit and Leek pie. One of the protagonists was comming up with the hoary old chestnut that 'all meat is murder', while the other debatee put forward the premiss that to shoot a Rabbit when it was in the peak of health was a kindness as there were no 'Old bunny homes' nor indeed any social services to cater for aged old does who were, if lucky, doomed to a life of disease and ultimate starvation, should they have had the good fortune to have evaded the depredations of Foxes and other predators.

Discuss.

I wish to be educated:

Why is it suposed to be a bad luck day?

Fridays, end of the week, weekend frollicks. Does'nt seem bad or unlucky to me.

13 as an unlucky number, 13 is a bakers dozen, wherin you get an extra bun or whatever for free, semms like a good deal, not unlucky.

So how come 'Friday the thirteenth' is a suposed downer?

Help required!

I must have mentioned it but if not..........

Those folk who have an interest in their surroundings and can use a camera might like to try;

www.geograph.org.uk

as an interesting posting site.

Thank you friend znethru (aka Jon Feb).

Well, you all know the little story of the woman who bought a case of dog food at the supermarket because it was so cheap.

Then had to go and buy a dog!

I must confess to being in the same boat, albeit without the purchase of a skanky mutt.

There has opened a new Waitrose in Portswood, (a hamlet of Southampton) and being nosy I went in to check on the bargains.
The only thing to catch my eye was a tub of ready made custard. Chums will know that this would not normally be a purchase of mine in the same way that I would not buy ready made, mashed spud or pre-cooked Poppadums.

However, I weakened and bought it. I had of course nothing on which to pour the aformentioned custard and so produced this:

Now that I have proved to be a 'Masterbaker' once again, I now feel the urge to do the Christmas cake, only I can't find my usual recipe.

Oh woe is me.

Can anyone help with a suitable recipe, lest I be undone?

So as many of you know I enjoy a good read. Some books I read in the hope of improving my mind (ha), others for the sheer joy of turning the pages of a well printed book.

Imagine my chagrin then, ewhen without warning, Ellis Peters, she of Cadfael fame, threw in the word 'Iambic' in the midst of one of her Mediaevil whodunnits.

This was one of those quickie books as a bit of light refreshment twixt serious stuff.

The fact that I had to look it up should in no way reflect badly on the educational system in Scunthorpe in the late 60's/early 70's.

Bloody IAMBIC.

I've decided that the most suitable position for me is....PONTIF.

Readers of my pages may think this absurd, but hold your horses young 'fella me lads'. Think on, I have many skills and atributes necessary to be a great Pope.

1. I have no religon whatsoever.
2. I am not a humourless German.
3. I have never been a Nazi.

see, an endless list.

I would do away with all this LIMBO crap we've been hearing about and do away with much of the catechism. I would bring the Papal sermons up to date, and here I'm thinking of spattering the texts with phrases like:

Go the extra mile

Joined up thinking.

Singing from the same Hymn-book

Thats all well and good, I hear you say, but whats in it for old Dennypoos?

Dear reader, do not worry your alcohol befuddled brain, I will get immense Job satisfaction. How?

Well it has long been my aim to have people, perhaps like youselves, travel from far and wide, 'oer land and sea, and at great expense even, to come and kiss my ring.

May my benedictions be upon you all and may you live long and prosper.

Hugs and kisses......Pope Dennydict I

I shall not be working for a local company hand crafting beds.

As can be seen , the flower spike continues ever upwards. For those of an enquiring mind, constantly searching for knowledge, this is known as being 'positivly phototropic', ie growing towards the light. It can also be described as being 'negativly geotropic', ie it grows away from gravity.

Dennypoos, always a learning experience.

I'll state at the outset that I'm a big fan so am currently chuffed that shes on the box again in the Mrs Pritchard series.

I'm thinking though, perhaps on television, a little too typecast as the spunky northern lass spouting truisms in a bland predictable kind of way.

Other than Ab-Fab this will be the impression most of the UK will have of her and she is such a better actress than that.

It remains to be seen what the rest of the series will be like but I live in hope.

Yes folks, why read todays new stuff when you can get, at no extra charge, my thoughts of yesterday.

Owing to a surfit of:

I was unable to post this:

Please remember.......These are 'the good old days'

Even with the Amish shootings, it still holds true.