Hell&related Stuff

The price you pay.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:07:38 +0100

£8.88 for a pint and then to remind you that you're pissing it away seems a little harsh at this Southampton pub.

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We are all to blame.

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:52:01 +0200

I give no excuses for this post:

http://www.chrisjordan.com/current_set2.php?id=11

We are all to blame.

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The Bastard council

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 10:37:31 +0200

This will be what the renowned Guildhall Art Gallery will be like if the council carry on with their plans to flog off a couple of Rodins to fund a shortfall in a building project.

Yes folks, roll up, roll up, roll up and view the empty display case with the echos of past exhibits and past visitors.

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And the girl's thinking?

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:51:42 +0200

Can't help thinking that a caption is required here.

Dennypoos............giving budding sarky bastards a chance.

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Open office.

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:14:12 +0200

I use open office as a viable alternative to 'works' and it's pretty damned good. I've just had an email from them asking me if I was considering a 'Migration' in the near future as they have a new range of tools to assist me.

What do they think I am bird planning to fly south for the winter!

Don't understand.

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Fed Up.

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 13:24:00 +0200

I am fucking fed up with pressing the yellow button!

Dennypoos............telling it like it is....yet again.

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A new word for Dennypoos.

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 06:58:39 +0200

Having my fingers on the pulse and being at the front of white hot technology, as I am, it should come as no suprise that Sun-microsystems have invited me to take my seat at their upcoming WEBINAR.

Yup, 'Webinar' which I take to be an amalgamation of seminar and web. in much the same way as blog is an amalgamation of web and log.

That being the case, I should have been invited to a bnar...but hey let's not get hung up on semantics this early in the morning.

The subject under discussion...the 'cloud'

Ooooh-err Missus, I'll keep you informed.

So WEBINAR will be inserted into my conversation, in an ad-hoc manner, sometime today.

Dennypoos.....................brings you all that's new.......err...in the dennypoos household.

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Ye Gods!

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:11:20 +0200

Now I was brought up on a council estate in Scunthorpe, and I could understand some pillock thinking he was being 'modern' by writing 'Nite' on his board, but here in the heart of The New Forest, pshaw, tsk, tut.

Aaaand it's The Crown and Stirrup.

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Trust.

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 15:52:36 +0200

Robert Smith has never been better.

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Five Fucking Kilo's

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:18:30 +0200

Why not me Lord? Have I been such a bad person? Cannot you forgive my transgressions on the taking of pornographic pictures front?

Seems not, but the sun was surely shinning on this lucky bloke a little while ago:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/staffordshire/8272058.stm

Gold at £1000 per ounce...

Dennypoos..............knows that it'll only bring problems...bastard!

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Dylan Day.

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 10:54:04 +0200

For no reason other than I can, I'm having a Bob Dylan day. So's all the music I listen to today will be either written by, or sung by 'His Bobship'.

Dylan and Denny............together again.

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Environment and Recovery Co-worker.

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 10:09:21 +0200

As part of my neverending quest to find someone stupid enough to employ me I am registered with the local IKEA and today they sent me details of a part-time position.

This vacancy has the title of 'Environment and Recovery Co-worker'.

For ten points, what is the actual job?

Dennypoos..................gives you a monday morning tease.

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ART FOR SALE!!!

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 11:19:23 +0200

Yes dear readers come to sunny Southampton and buy a piece of my heritage.

How can this be?....well its like this:

Southampton City Council and in particular the Arts and lesiure chief, ( the conservative John Hannides) wish to flog off various works of art that were bequested to the city to make up a shortfall in funding a 'Titanic' museum.

Tentatively titled 'The Sea City Centre', the new space will include some extra exhibition space,(as a sop) for the city's art collection, which outside of London, Manchester and Birmingham is reputed to be the best in the UK.

Among the works to be sold are a Munnings, (fine painter of equine subjects) and...GET THIS..a Rodin sculpture. A fucking Rodin for chrissakes.

Where would we get another Rodin from?....for as sure as eggs is eggs no one will mention the gallery in their bequests if we're flogging their stuff, and we'd never be able to afford to buy another one when we're out of this recession.

The whole thing is wrong...just wrong.

Where will it end if they are given permission from the Attorney General's office that it is legal to do this? Sell a Turner to pay for some new street-lights because the coucil can't balance it's books?

The Fucking Bastards!

Dennypoos...............................incandescent with rage

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A bit suspect.

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 12:24:42 +0200

Did my £1.00 trip to London yesterday and apart from the dull, dull, DULL weather, I had a good day.

A little concerned that the driver on the homeward journey was carrying additional personal protection equipment.

Thankfully not required.

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Qualifications for Gyppo's and people who move about a bit.

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:19:25 +0200

As part of my never-ending attempt to gain employment I'm registered with 'Hampshire Jobs' who send details of all Hampshire local authority jobs.

One of todays tranche was as a Gipsy liason officer. I opened the file and found that one of the requiremnts was a qualification, a B.Tec, no less, in Gypsy & Traveller Studies.

A fucking B.TEC..........in fucking 'GYPSY & TRAVELLER STUDIES'.....yea gods!

Dennypoos.............who although a caring considerate person, feels this is not the vacancy with which he could leave his mark on society.

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Keith Floyd......... RIP.

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 18:23:27 +0200

Well bugger that for a co-incidence. Yesterday Ch4 showed a programme called Keith meets Keith, where Lily Allen's dad met up with TV chef Keith Floyd.

Informative and not a little sad, showing how Floyd became a victim of his own sucess and the booze.

And now he's gone and popped his clogs....well espadrilles. as he was living in Provence.

I, of course, styled my cooking on this great, flawed man.

Dennypoos.....................will have to watch the prog again *contains the 'C' word, often

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Monday Music.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 11:22:05 +0200

A little something to while away the time utill the washing machine's finished the latest load.

Dennypoos..............thoughtful as an old washerwoman.

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Dippy Cow.

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:06:08 +0200

This dippy cow has just made a stonkingly bad faux pas on the ITV news.

When reporting on the new 'Elizabeth Cross' being handed out by the queen today to the families of soldiers killed in Afghanistan, the newsreader said:

"The medals are being handed to families of soldiers serving in the Sixth Royal Lancia's"

She meant, of course, 'The Sixth Royal Lancers'

I fancy that if our troops had to go to war in rusty Italian cars they'd be even worse off than they are now.

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Historical whodunnit fact VI.

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 06:28:22 +0200

Not technically an 'Historical whodunnit fact', but one with those leanings and from the book I'm currently reading.

The book in question is called, 'The Grave Tattoo' and is by Val McDermid, she of 'Wire in the Blood' fame.

The fact is this:

Fletcher Christian, ( he of the mutiny on the Bounty fame), went to school with, and was good friends with, William Wordswoth.

There now, you didn't know that did you.

Dennypoos.................................first with the news that counts.

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...and there it was Gone!

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:41:13 +0200

I was mooching through the local rag today. Thursday being the jobs day and me being without one. Having ascertained that I shall continue to sponge off society for another two weeks, at the very least, I checked out the local news.

My attention was diverted to a story whereby a local store had done a bit of artwork, in this case a trompe d'oi, in one of the 'Malls'.

Ever the one for the oddball stuff, I set off post haste and..............'There it was ...gone'.
It seems that it wasn't painted on the floor, but was on a piece of canvas and after the photo-shoot was rolled up like a carpet and taken back to the store.

Bastards!

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Cheaper than a Pint.

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 18:38:16 +0200

Yesterday I happened to catch the tail end of the local news programme and they were banging on about the coach fare war about to break out down here in Solentville. My attention was caught by the fare to London being just £1.00 Yes ONE POUND!

So today I remembered this and finally found the website of 'Greyhound', who run a new service from both Portsmouth and Southampton to London.
Being of a curious nature I went through the booking process, fully expecting all kinds of glitches and get-out clauses, but NO!
It all went through without a hitch, well they did sting me for a booking fee, the bastards..........50p.

So for a total layout of £2.50, (£1 each way and 50p fee) I'm off on a jolly next Wednesday. Being a culture vulture, I shall do as many galleries as my poor feet will allow....Woo-hoo.

http://www.greyhounduk.com/

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Piss Poor.

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 06:14:47 +0200

This is without doubt a piss poor government.

Not content with continuing to send troops to fight an unwinnable war in Afghanistan merely because it can't figure a way out without upsetting the Yanks, the Brown brigade are now hiding behind the apron strings of victims of IRA terrorism.

It would appear that Mr Brown feels the best way to approach Gaddafi for belated compensation, for supplying the IRA with explosives is by standing at the back of the mass of victims actively seeking recompense for having their lives destroyed, and shouting words of encouragement.

Surely the leader of this country is supposed to lead from the front? I suspect that, in a nutshell, is exactly where the problem lies.

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St Cross.

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 17:15:08 +0200

Full set seen here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dennypoos/sets/72157622130821135/

Please view as a slide show..........you know you want to.

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URGENT!...or not really.

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 12:17:16 +0200

Taking the rubish out this morning I noticed a single sheet of paper that had been pushed through the letterbox. Not having my glasses on, I was only able t make out the 'Urgent appeal for assistance' bit.

Fucking hell, I wonder what's happened. Surely not a murder or rape in the vacinity of 'Dennypoos Acres'!

Not so my little avid accolytes. Specs on I found that one mans 'URGENT' is anothers 'in yer own time'.

"Bollocks", I thought. Some dippy cow's left her old treader in the garden and hasn't locked it, serves her right. Not as though it was a Cannondale worth a couple of grand. Wrong attitude of course as a theft is a theft and the value is secondary. Feeling that I had chastised myself enough, I looked again at this urgent appeal. Specifically at the date.

This happened over three months ago. Not so urgent that the local plod can't sit on this for over three months before asking for help. I cannot remember what I did last week let alone what happened three months ago.

I shall of course look for all white-walled tyre'd cycles not riden by Ladies but my chances of assisting the plod are a tad remote I think.

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My predilection...

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 09:09:58 +0200

....with historical whodunnits is both an escape from reality and an education at the one time.

I used to think that the term 'Clink' as a way of expressing going to prison, was just a term derrived from the clinking of chains and manacles. Not so, dear uninformed readers of mine.

There was an actual prison called 'Clink' in Southwark, London, from the C12th to the mid C18th, it got burned down in the Gordon riots.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Clink

Dennypoos.................joins with his buddies in saying..."Well I never"

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Isometrics.

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 18:19:37 +0200

A couple of the boys in blue work off a few big macs by pushing a car in the rain.

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Woe is me.

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 06:22:08 +0200

How will I be able to live anymore?

It's the end of an era!

Music is the loser here!

The brothers Gallagher have finally split and last night had to cancel a gig in Paris as Noel spat the dummy/ copped on.

Oasis are no more *

*please note that whilst keying this in I am gnashing my teeth, wailing like a banshee and pulling out my hair.

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Schama the bastard.

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:33:18 +0200

How bizarre is this: Just recently I've found a neat, quiet little disused church in Botley, down here in Hampshire.

I've become quite fixated with it as at first glance there appears to be no great things there, but paradoxically there is.

I've done loads of photographs of the place and when you go into the churchyard this quintessentially rustic view meets the eye.

Sweet isn't it.

Imagine my suprise when today Simon Schama, the bastard, can be seen on his TV programme 'History of Britain' standing outside my church.

Bloody hell. If a bloke can't find his own little place of peace and tranquility. He finds instead that it's a TV location. Grrrr.

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Widget.

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 14:50:29 +0200

How do I get a widget that's not on the blog.uk. list, onto my page, ie import my redbubble widget link????

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Lancaster Bomber.

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 14:21:06 +0200

I've just seen an advert for one of those magazines where each month you get the parts and instructions to build something in easy stages.

This one was for a Lancaster bomber which looked impressive on the tele, with a wingspan of about three feet. What I did notice at the bottom of the screen as it falshed up for about two seconds was that it takes 125 issues to get all the kit parts. At a cost of £4.99 per issue it equates to damn nearly £625.00

Six hundred and bloody twenty five quid.

For that money I'd want to fly in the bugger.

Dennypoos........................actually knows where the only airworthy Lanc can be found.

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